Im sorry I'm the worst blog human to have ever existed. I don't even know what I am doing here right now but I thought I would just start typing and see what happens...
I already have to leave and go back to my last blog in bloody JUNE to see where I left off, I'd say brb but that's not how time works in this space... Okay I'm back. That was kinda funny because back then I thought I had Hashimotos but I totally didn't and I'm also now VERY VERY PREGNANT!
Hahaha I an definitely not infertile and I was already a couple of months in (unbeknownst to me) when I last blogged...If you know me in the real world or follow my not quiiiiiite as dead facebook page or instagram you would already know this but it's been a very key reason why this little bloggy has gone to shit.
So, when I started writing this I am 31 weeks and 3 days deep into this baby growing business and to start out with the fun stuff I'm somehow managing to grow a very very active and healthy baby girl!!! I wish I knew how this absolute clusterfuck of a body has managed to grow another human and not arse it up, but I'm sure as hell not complaining and it suuuuure as hell hasnt been easy, at all... But let's try and talk about that from the beginning, I think I am going to use headings while I try and remember how to write. Medications - I canned them all, cold turkey like a God damn idiot, it sucked but I was really sick so I don't even know what was withdrawals and what was morning sickness.. I spent a few weeks taking nothing but my thyroid medication before I ended up in the psych ward for a night, scaring the shit out of and hurting everyone around me. That sucked, but it resulted in me being put under the care of the Royal Womens Hospital and they are truly amazing and do so so much to help and it's hard to believe it's all part of the public system. ANYWAY I ended up being put back on some antidepressants, which I took for a while, then I forgot to fill my script and tried to start again after like a week but they made me mega sick so in not taking them anymore. I have been blessed with Hyperemesis, which is the fancy medical term for severe morning sickness which as you can imagine has been fairly bloody debilitating. Update! I tapped out of writing this again so now I'm 33 weeks and 4 days along (I'm trying alright!) So, you know how sometimes people get pregnant and they magically get better and they are super healthy and pain free? Yeah, well we knew I could never be that lucky. Ive been on an increasing dose of Targin for the majority of my pregnancy which has come with a lot of guilt but honestly without it to take the edge off (that's all it does) I'd be bedridden 7 days a week... Instead of like 5..
34 weeks and 3 days now... it’s taking a while but at least I’m trying, and I’m stuck in bed with some of that back pain that only pregnancy could be kind enough to provide so what else am I going to do?
I really wanted to finish this in 2018 so I could try and start fresh for 2019 but I didn’t so I arsed that up.
So, here’s to a new year, a new little family and a hell of a lot less friends annnnnd the same old stupid painful head!
I don’t actually really know what else to write for now, thanks everyone who has stuck around on Facebook and those that have messaged me here to make sure I’m okay. I really do hope I don’t leave it so long before I touch base again!
Also another obvious thanks to Josh for supporting me and reassuring me I am doing the right thing and trying to keep me calm (except for when you show me videos of things like cute animals and old people so I’ll cry) when neither of us have any idea what we are doing, getting pregnant so quickly into our honeymoon period sure as hell hasn’t been easy on either of us but I wouldn’t (and couldn’t) do this or want to do this with anyone but you.
ALSO our close friends and of course family for all they have done and continue to do.
This is, by far, the shittest thing I have ever written. I am very out of practice and just so far behind catching up is impossible so I’ll start fresh next time (hopefully)
I’m publishing this piece of trash but I am nervous as hell for some reason. If you want an update on something specific send me a message because my brain is made of chocolate milk and carbs.
OKAY BYE XOXOXOXO
