Firstly, LOOK AT ALL DAT NEW NEW GLITTER!!
I feel like I need some sort of old timey school nun to sit around and smack me with a cane every time I think ‘shit I should blog’ and then not actually blog for another 5 weeks while I continue to think ‘shit I should blog’ and random intervals. I mostly think that would work because I think she would be a ghost and that would be ridiculously scary and I’d probably just listen to her the first time so she didn’t come back... Aaah crap. I don’t even know where to start there is SO MUCH happening so as usual I’ve kind of been doing the old faithful withdrawing from the human world, battling a 24/7 like basically 2 month long stress migraine which has pretty much left me in some form of coma state five days out of seven... but everything should be calming down soon AND I actually have a new treatment on the horizon. So, as I alluded to in my last blog I’m moving back to Melbourne, this was always going to happen, tassie was supposed to be a six month thing but I didn’t get better... unfortunately even though my parents have been amazing and when I’ve managed to see my friends it’s been great I’m sincerely not happy living here and have basically spent the last year locked up in some sort of weird depressive, agoraphobic prison where not wanting to leave the house actually turned into not physically being able to bring myself to leave the house for a pretty significant period of time... lucky I got past that and because I have the most wonderful man ready and waiting (and god knows why willing because he already knows how frustrating it can be... he’s some sorta angel) to look after me back in Melbourne my opportunity to move back to where I am happiest has actually become a reality, which is especially good because the doctors down here have gotten to the stage they are just handballing me back to one and other and I have started seeing a new specialist in Melb already. So Melbourne, I still won’t be much fun but I’ll be back next weekend! My new specialist is actually an oncologist- I don’t have the big c so don’t worry, but he does take on patients who are suffering from chronic pain, he is consulting with the best possible neurologist at his hospital (he has 15 to pick from) and together they are deciding whether I will be having a lidocaine or ketamine infusion - either way it will involve a week long stay in hospital, both sound like they have the potential to be terrifying for their own reasons if you over research, however both also have shown significant reduction in pain scores in people suffering from various chronic pain conditions, so I will be booking that in once I’m settled and will let you guys know which treatment they are going with! (Ps thanks to my dumb idiot super awesome friend Amelia for linking me up with him) I have a new symptom - or it could have been around for a while and I just didn’t notice because I wasn’t really seeing or talking to humans... buuut I’ve gone pretty deaf, like someone can be talking to me and halfway through I’ll just start talking about something else completely because I didn’t hear them speaking at all and I often have a ringing or a sense of ‘fullness’ and static in my ears....cool huh? 🙄 It has also resulted in me being useless at speaking at the correct volume and of course, as with most ear issues it has effected my balance etc so I am EVEN clumsier at the moment (I basically just whisper or yell, fall over or knock 17 things in a row over, cut people off when they’re telling a story and get super confused or completely miss an entire conversation with someone, so I am basically a toddler but people just think I am being a jerk) Oh and one other super fun thing - remember how I had the nerve decompression in July last year for the Cubital Tunnel Syndrome (Ulnar Neuropathy) which worked! Wellll, over the last 2-3 months all of the pain and symptoms have returned and have now reached the stage that it is worse than it felt originally. The neurosurgeon at the time found it strange that someone of my age had the condition so when I met with him today he appeared quite baffled that something has gone wrong (he is a really good and well known surgeon, it’s just my dumb body) So I’ll be having an MRI this week and seeing him next week to see what the heck is going on inside my arm because it feels like my fingers are full of smashed glass again and that suuuucks. Let’s end on a positive note - my mental health is doing a lot better, I am sure the change in my relationship status has had a lot to do with that but I am also not denying that the new antidepressants I am on are also helping as when I kind of whoopsed and didn’t take them for about 5 days I noticed a significant downward change in my mood so there is definitely multiple things at work doing some good, so if you are struggling I’d definitely recommend trying a few different things (I haven’t felt the need to go to my psych though - but I will pick it back up with my old psych in Melbourne because I think it’s something you really need to continue with to truly benefit) Lastly, I’m not fat anymore. Had a kickstart from the GP, but a change in my mental health, being more active (heh) actually eating food so I have a functioning metabolism all combined knocked it back off fairly quickly, I guess my body was fairly shocked it was no longer horizontal and basically hibernating for 12 months straight. Is that everything? I don’t even know. Oh wait. I have been doing some reading and there is a fair whack of evidence that my TMJ/TMD whatever floats your boat is the cause of like all of my issues (even my arm) So getting that back onto the list of things I need to find a good specialist for is on the books too! Aaaah that is enough. I cannot wait to be in a State that isn’t this damn cold - New Norfolk has literally been half the temp of Melbourne, about 5 degrees colder than Hobart and it was 2 degrees warmer on top of Mt Wellington the other night! (At least now I can blame hypothyroidism for my being cold all the time) Hopefully I will be back soon and no ghosts or similar will be necessary! Peta xo
