5.

Number five eh? Thats's bonkers. I have heaps to ramble, sook and complain about so go and make a cuppa and feed the dog first.

Welcome Back!

SO let's start with the medical side of things, for pain I am now taking 300mg of Palexia a day (the slow release narcotic) and up to four 10mg Oxynorm sometime I kinda feel weird I am just strolling or stumbling around more like it on drugs that are in the same category as things such as heroin but I the two combined have honestly some days given me a bit of normality  - its usually one good day then one bad day (brb I have to read wtf I have already told you) okay so I have mentioned the drugs before but we have really upped the strength.

I am also taking a anti-inflammatory which normally I can't have because when they ripped my wisdom tooth out incorrectly (causing my jaw issues - lemme know if you wanna hear that fun story actually) I took like ninety six Nurofen in a week and gave myself four stomach ulcers - literally nothing else helped with the pain so I downed them like lollies.

Okay, so we talked about the bone scan and the arthritis in my jaw, I saw a Pain Specialist (I don't know If i mentioned the last one but we didn't vibe) and he was super thorough, except when he nonchalantly mentioned I also have arthritis in my neck... I missed that when I read the report, probably because I am a mere human and not a Doctor. So, for the next four weeks I am taking some special probiotics and vitamins to see if an improvement in my gut health has any effect on my head. He had a feel of the nerves around my head and when he put some pressure on my eyebrows I nearly fell out of the chair from the pain and I was really wobbly on my feet afterward and today. We will start to discuss what we do next in 4 weeks, personally I think it will be something along the lines of a nerve block and eventually an Occipital implant but I am pretty negative this week.

Actually that is a nice segue into how much of a fuckhat my depression has been of late, I guess because I have just decided I will now spend the rest of my life sad, in pain and on strong meds I have gone a little downhill, I was better today but yesterday was a write off.

I had nothing on, no appointments nothing! Awesome I can look after myself and try and do something. NAAAAAAH. I slept in til 3.00 woke up with my back killing me and just did not want to do a thing, I didn't shower all day, I needed to do a poo and I literally put it off for like 2 hours (I am super backed up from all the pain meds so it wasn't really a skill to hold on.... or was it {creepy face})  Speaking of poo, over the last few weeks my appetite has disappeared like completely, all I have been managing sometimes is a chocolate milk (der) and a slice of sponge cake every second day (idk why I keep craving it when I DO want food) But I ate like 9000 things today so we might be all good.

I had chiro today and it is progressing well, the gaps between appointments are getting bigger - yay me! (Hi Tim!) and physio with Murto tomorrow so hopefully we can make some moves there too.

I AM FINISHING ON A HAPPY NOTE!!!! 

A friend of mine, David Loring who has also openly battled mental health issues blew my god damn mind with some images he had mad of my previous blog photos and I am so overwhelmed still and very glad to share them with you today ( I am having them printed as we speak for my house)

Also, to work on my negativity I have been sneaking a bunch of my friends presents in the post and it makes me (and them) feel so good, give it a go!

Love, oxy and sponge cake

Peta xo 

(ps I do not proof these, it's a ramble I don't want to fuck with my thoughts, and a special thanks to Jax for his encouragement on the weekend, you blew me away, I was just way too overwhelmed to be at a house party - and it left me bed ridden for two days, it is the netflix life for me for at least another 5 months again) 

#Chronicillness #Chronicmigraine #Chronicdailyheadache #Cooldude